San Diego Wedding Insider will help keep you up to date on current wedding etiquette answers and trends. Though some topics will not have the same answers as in years past, it is always your final decision on any etiquette manners for your wedding day. We hope to inform you of proper and improper social graces to help you make your decisions! If you have a specific wedding etiquette question or would like to share a story from your own experience, please email us about it!

Inviting People That Won't Attend

There may be people on your list that you, your fiancée, or parents would like to have at the wedding, but because of your budget and the limited size of your wedding, you are not able to invite everyone that you would like to. Some relatives may insist that all family members are invited and that you should just hope that they won't attend. The problem comes when you plan for a smaller wedding and those you did not expect to come actually do show up - causing problems for the budget, the ceremony, the set-up, and the reception. Also, even if certain guests are invited and do not come, receiving an invitation can will oblige the guest to send a gift, even if they cannot attend.

A good way to get around this to avoid troubles and to keep within your budget is to send out wedding announcement cards instead of just hoping the extra guests will not RSVP and show up, increasing your wedding costs. It will let all of your distant relatives and other friends of the family who cannot attend know about your marriage without either burdening them with the commitment of a gift or unexpected expenses.

Another option would be to hold a separate reception close to where your relatives or other friends are. That way, you can share in the joy of your new marriage and include anyone else who you were unable to invite to your original reception due to distance or budget.

Invitation Enclosures

Some items you may need to include in your invitations are: reception cards, response cards, and directions to your wedding and reception.

Reception cards are generally only used when the reception will be held in a different location than the ceremony to save room on your invitations and to not create a crowded look on them. If your reception is being held in the same location as your ceremony, you can simply add a line to your invitations that state "with reception to follow".

Response cards are optional. They are a good idea to make sure you get an accurate head count since it's easier for your guests to simply answer the card and then drop it in the mailbox. If you are using response cards for RSVP, make sure that include a self addresses envelope with return postage for your guests.

When including directions to your reception and ceremony, you can make them look more elegant by simply getting the same kind of paper you used for invitations. Print or photocopy your directions on that instead and you'll have a nice, uniform look.

Thank You Cards

A few ideas for your thank you cards is to get matching, personalized thank you cards ordered when you order your wedding invitations. They can be printed with your new Mr. and Mrs. Names, a monogram, a simple 'thank you' on the front. There are also many other options for thank you cards such as making them yourself with rubber stamps and nice pre-folded paper or a photo of you and your new spouse on the front. You should always include a short, handwritten note inside each thank you card expressing your gratitude. Thank you cards should be sent within three months of the wedding.